more sermon notes!

Happy Sunday! :)

She doesn't know "blah blah blah" or "etc etc etc" 

so she writes "more daddy things! :)

Kindness week: Inspired by Scripture and Pinterest

"Kids! It's not polite to beg for three cookies when someone gives you two!"
"Don't hit him with the shovel! Take turns!"
"I understand that you like that bike too, but what is the KIND thing do right now? Will you share with your brother? Wait, no, don't hit him! SHARE!"
Sigh.

They fight like these guys:

It's hard to teach kids to be kind to each other, isn't it?  We teach, we discipline, we tell them all about starving children in Africa, and still, they refuse to get their fat, greedy hand out of the cracker box so little brother can have some.

Why is this so hard?

Interview your child at the end of the school year

It seems like only yesterday...

first day of school, 2009

At the end of my daughter's first year of kindergarten, I was ready to celebrate. I was proud of her, and I was proud of me for making it through my baby's first year of school. I was excited to have her home. 

I greeted her that last day of school with special treats, made by her brothers and sisters. I had saved some of her special artwork and papers, and I put together in a scrapbook for her. We looked through it together on the couch and talked about the year.  It was wonderful.

I have three kids coming home from their last day of school tomorrow. (Finishing kindergarten, first grade, and third grade.)

Would you like to see my scrapbooks this year?

Sigh. Those papers crammed in files are not going to get organized by tomorrow. Maybe that will be a summer project, and maybe this year, they can help me with it. I really just don't feel like sorting through all those papers right now.

I have another year-end celebration idea this year.

I will interview them.

I have not yet decided if I am going to ask them these questions on camera, or just write down their answers on paper.  Maybe both. This is not going to be a normal after school conversation. You know, the one like this:

"Hi honey, how was school?"
"It was good."

"What was your favorite thing today?"

"Everything. What's for snack?"

Do you have stimulating conversations like this at your house?

I want them to talk. 

I want to see through their eyes. I want to hear about the funniest kid in class, and what they like to do for recess when it rains. I want to know their favorite silly songs, their favorite books, their favorite thing for lunch.  Today. 

Now. 

Because these days are flying by.

The river is moving so fast.

I want to set the anchor down for just a moment, and spend time with them, right here.

Would you like to do that too?

I wrote some questions to get them talking.
I think you might like them.

Download the questions here.

About the file:

It's a Word file. Nothing fancy.

I thought you might like to modify it to fit your own family.

If you use these, I'd love to hear how it goes!

Was this post a blessing to you?

Please, pass it on to somebody else!

What do you do to celebrate the end of the school year?

Messy Monday: Don't get mad, grab your camera!

Thanks, friends, for helping me feel like I'm not the only one surrounded by messes!  When I clean up the cheerios this morning, I will think of all you others out there who are doing the same thing!

Here are my favorite pictures from last week...

Go play! It's the weekend!

Have a great weekend everyone.

Don't miss it.

"Mama, can that wait?" Thoughts on technology, boundaries, love, and a handsfree morning

Hand on the mouse, eyes on the computer, I asked the child standing closest to me,
"Honey, would you get me my hairbrush please?"
She brought and said, "I'll give it to you in exchange for a hug."
Again, that article came to mind.

Slow down, focus on your kids! They want you, they need YOU! 


In other words,
A child cannot kiss a moving target!

Yep, it's time to make some changes.

Let me just say first technology is a gift and a blessing. However, a person can love it too much.
It is a gift, meant to serve those around me.
It is a gift, meant to serve those who read my blog and my book, and my future books, if there are any.

But sometimes, I use it to neglect those around me, and simply to entertain myself.
Seriously, self, do you really need to check facebook at the park?

Right now, I have very few boundaries around my own technology use. 
And what has been the result?
I'm constantly connected.
I'm constantly entertained, if not by my children, by my connections.
I check the easy things off my list, and I ignore the harder things.
I do the "urgent" things, and quickly, to get back to the fun things.
Quite often, I completely forget the important things.

No, I am not going to stop writing or blogging. It would be impossible for me not to write- I am simply built this way. However, I am reassessing the time I spend with and away from my children (mentally,) and even more than that, I am trying to pay attention to the time I spend both with AND away- "multi-tasking," but really just scattered, and distracted.

I am slowly coming to realize, that when I do not deliberately focus on loving and serving the people around me, I simply give my attention to whatever is most interesting or entertaining at the moment.


That, friends, is not love.

(Father, forgive me for sacrificing what is important to do what is fun. Forgive me for misusing the gift of technology, for being distracted and selfish. Forgive me for Jesus' sake. Focus my heart for me Lord. Teach me to love You and love others.  By your grace, give me strength and wisdom as I seek to make changes according to Your will. Amen.)

Baby step: A disconnected morning

I started the day with a talk with my girls.

"Girls, you know how we've been talking about how important it is to fill buckets? (ie, love people) Well, I have to ask you something, and you can answer just how you feel, I won't be mad. Do you think mama spends too much time on the computer instead of filling your buckets?"

The girl on my right nodded emphatically. She said nothing though, her eyes were wide. I think she was wondering how I would react.  She's the one who asks me to jump on the trampoline with her at night when the boys are in bed. She's the one who hates it when I sit at my computer and say "Not this time, honey."

The girl on my left said she didn't think so. "Mama, you fill people's buckets when you write, too. So it's OK if you are on the computer."
Wow. I really didn't expect that.
I agree with her, actually. This is why I am not cutting out all technology or anything crazy like that. It's important for me to write, and connect, and email. I do see it as a ministry.
However.
"Girls, did you know my family is my number one job? Number ONE. So that other stuff, while it is good, I don't want it to come before family unless it absolutely has to. So as much as I like doing that other stuff, I'm going to try to start doing it a little less, especially when I'm also trying to spend time with you. Does that sound good?"
They both smiled. Huge.
"See, sometimes it's easy for mommy to have my hands full of things that aren't really that important, and then I can't use my hands to hug you and tickle you and stuff like that. And I don't want it to be that way, OK?"
I tickled them, and they giggled.
"Here's the deal. I'm going to let you try to help me with this. It's going to be hard for me. I'm going to give you permission to remind me that we had this talk."
Their eyes danced. I immediately felt the need to reign them in. I could tell they were making plans for me. Too many plans.
"Now, that doesn't mean you can nag me. It doesn't mean I'm never going to use my phone or send an email.  And I'm not going to say yes to a bounce on the trampoline EVERY night. I will still get tired."
One girl snorted, "Yeah, you have to deal with those boys all day. Of course you will get tired!"
It is so nice to be understood. I love my daughters.


"So, if you see me on my phone or emailing when we are spending time together, like at the park or something, I want you to ask me one question: Mama, can that wait?"



"Sometimes it can't wait. Sometimes I'll say no, and I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. But lots of times, it can wait, and I want you to help me make those other things wait so I can spend more time with my eyes and hands and heart focused on you."
I squeezed their hands, and they squeezed back, tight.

I sent my accountability buddies off to school, and then I told my stay-at-home boys a little less. "Mommy wants to spend time with you boys today. What do you want to do? Let's make a list."
In my head, I resolved: No computer until naptime.
I am an addict.  It was hard, but I did it. And I noticed how often I almost went to the computer, or the phone, just out of habit.  I do hope this will get easier.

But I am inspired to keep on trying, especially when I consider,

If my hands had been full of junk, I would have missed...

• the girls' joy, when I asked them to hide with me on the front porch so we could talk
• their inside info, about who used to fall asleep in kindergarten, and who fell asleep in math class
• the little bumps on her nose, reminding me that she is growing so fast, and I'd best teach her to wash her face at night. Sigh, she probably has my bad skin.
• the way they are happy to give me running hugs, even in front of their friends
• the three year old spilled, for the second time in five minutes, but he cleaned it up quietly, all by himself.
• the baby, climbing on my back and playing with my hair while I read the Bible
• the big boy, capable of being the record-keeper, the list writer for the day
• the ridiculousness of my angry words, "It is NOT polite to play the harmonica when someone is giving you a lecture!" His suppressed smirk, and then my laugh, and we all laugh. 
• One asked me if I had a pair of "garden mittens" for him. The other joked, "what are you, a Tom Girl?"
• Breathing in the sweet smell of honeysuckle, and realizing he calls it "Honey- snuckle!" 
• I had to untie a tight knot so I sent a child to get me a fork to help. He returned with a fork and a butter knife. "Mommy, can I be coyote? I promise I won't hurt anyone with the knife!"

It wasn't all cute and fun, don't get me wrong.

For instance, there was a major mess:

And I was out of paper towels. And it was spaghetti-sauce mixed with glass. I was "fully present" for the cleaning up of the mess, but it wasn't fully fun. The little culprit watched me, quietly, and finally said in a small voice, "Me not do that again."

Also, the wrestling match was a short one. I was chasing a boy, running full-speed, and I slipped on a transformer costume.  I landed flat on my back on the concrete floor. It probably looked hilarious, but not one of them laughed.

"Are you OK mama?"
"I'm... not sure. Just let me sit here for a minute."
They only gave me about a minute and a half before the littlest ones climbed on me again.

(I'm mostly OK.)
While I laid there, I wondered,
Would the kids know how to call for help if you are unconscious on the floor? 

Later, the pain in my back reminded me to teach my little boys emergency procedures. It turns out, my oldest boy knows his daddy's phone number and 911, but he didn't know how to turn on my phone. I'm glad he knows now.

They watched the bread machine work. 

"The bread is dancing!" 

"Why can't we hear the yeast burping?"

One morning, cut off from technology. What did I observe?

I noticed many precious moments I would have missed.

I also noticed a few hard things I wold have gotten to skip (like the crash on the floor and the messy kitchen help.)

I won't say my day was easier. 

But it was more focused. Less scattered.

And I was more available to my children.

I prayed more.

Read more.
Breathed more.

Try it, won't you?

Think. Pray.

Ask yourself: Can it wait?

If you struggle with this, I'd love to hear from you.

If you've conquered this, I'd love to hear from you, too.

If you have blogged about it, please leave your link below.

(You don't have to link back to me, but it's always appreciated!)

Do the messes ever drive you to the edge?

mud tracks

“Dear God, bless this mess.”

Is this what you pray as you clean the cereal off the floor?

Me neither.

It’s really not the messes that need blessing, is it?

It’s me.

It’s you.

We mothers, who try to contain the messes, and step in the messes, and discover old messes, complain about new messes, and sometimes make the messes- we are the ones that need to be blessed!

(I admit, I make the messes. Tell me I’m not the only one with coffee stains on the front of my shirts.)

Monday's Mess- Link Up and share your pictures!

I wake up and the house is messy, but livable.  Not a disaster (usually,) but not quite company-ready, either.  I work all day long, sweeping, organizing, moving this here and that there... and by the end of the day, the house is .. about the same.
Messy, but livable.

What is it that I do all day long?! 

Well, I pick up stuff, like this:

and they "help."

And... repeat.

One of the hardest things about motherhood (for me,) is the lack of TANGIBLE progress. I can work on something all day, like laundry, and it is never fully DONE (not for long,) but I can't not work on it, either. 

So I've started taking pictures of some of the messes, before I clean them. It is a little bit satisfying to imagine what this house would look like if I didn't do my job for a day, or even an hour. It makes me feel a little less like a hamster running on a treadmill. 

Some of the pictures make me laugh. Like this: 

Somebody colored on the basement stairs. Then, he left the marker sticking out of a hole in the stairs for me. Perhaps he wanted to make sure I didn't miss his artwork?


This chaotic life is exhausting, but t's funny, too.
Especially after the fact.

Join me!

I want to see your pictures, friends!

What messes have you cleaned up? Messy kids? Gross stuff in your fridge? Did they use sidewalk chalk on your car or makers on your window?

Perhaps if we compile our pictures, we will stand back in awe... we will see some of our work, DONE, and we will realize that we really DO make the world more beautiful by our constant efforts!

That, or we will just become overwhelmed at the chaos that awaits us today, and tomorrow. But even so, we will find company in our battle against all that is out of place in this world!
Join me, fellow soldier!

I will share some of my favorites next Monday.

How to share your pictures

Send me an email
Post pictures to my facebook page

(Please note- if you post to facebook or email me, you are giving me permission to use your picture on my blog! If you want credit, put your name on the picture itself.  I use picmonkey for this and other edits. It's free and you don't even have to register!)

If you have a blog, link up with me below! (Be sure to grab my button!)
(your post can be anything at all mess- related; cleaning tips, organizing tips, thoughts on a messy life, or just fun pictures of your kids doing something messy!)

1. Simply post your messy post on your blog (or grab the link to an older one)
2. Enter your title and link below
3. Copy the html code (in the box below the picture) and put it on your post - this will point your readers back here so they can see the other posts and join the fun!

<a href=" http://www.weakandloved.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Weak and Loved" src="http://i349.photobucket.com/albums/q392/Emilymariecook/MessyMommyJobs20pct.jpg"/></a>

Happy Mother's Day!

I love you, mom.

All the way to Michigan and back.

water play

"you are dancing around in your iridescent little downpour, whooping and stomping as sane people ought to do when they encounter a thing so miraculous as water.”  

Gilead by Marylinne Robinson