Wednesday, May 4, 2011

bossmom

"Here can you hold this blanket for a second?"
"Can you go get his other shoe?"
"Would you run this to the kitchen for me?"

It's a habit, deeply ingrained into me after these years of herding children around. I am constantly directing. In my mind there is a goal, be it getting outside the door with all the children or getting a meal on the table, and all things around me must be directed to this end.

If an able-bodied child comes near me, I immediately acknowledge his presence by incorporating him into the greater plan. I give him a job. This not only keeps his hands out of trouble for a moment but (theoretically) moves us that one tiny step closer to the ultimate goal.

I'm worried that this is becoming an addiction of sorts. I find myself doing this to my husband, and even to children that are not mine, should they come near me in a moment when I am oriented toward a specific goal.

"Could you hand me my phone?"
"Here, put this sock in the laundry."
"Can you please zip that for him?"

It's not that I am lazy. I am already using my entire mind and body to get the job done, but my mind and body do not ever seem to get caught up. If the children can help, then they shall help. If I could command the very angels and the cosmos to help orchestrate the staggering march towads the van for an outing, I would command them.

But I can't.

So I warn you, friends, if you come near me, I will probably give you a job. I just can't help it. There is work to be done.


For more like this see Imperfect Homemaking or How to Keep a Sense of Humor

5 comments:

  1. "If I could command the very angels and the cosmos to help orchestrate the staggering march towads the van for an outing, I would command them."

    HaHaHa! I love it !

    I REALLY like this post. Maybe it's because I can relate so much.

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  2. If I ever get to come over, feel free to boss me around! :D I have a poster of Larry the Cucumber that has lots of his traits listed... My two favorites are "Likes to help" "...but not very good at helping"... I need direction!!!

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  3. Monique- seriously, two arms are just not enough. I have often joked that I wish I grew an extra arm with each new child!

    Katie- gladly! :) And if I am not around to boss you, I am sure my oldest will fill in for me!

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  4. I need you to come to work and do some management training. :)

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  5. Erin- maybe I will if I run out of people around here to boss! It sure is fun to delegate! But I think these little people might take it better than adults would!

    It also cracks me up to see them do it to each other- Lorraine and Seth especially, they know how to delegate!

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