Monday, May 30, 2011

Deployment


Please pray for our troops and their families.


Deployment day January 2004:
The alarm went off at 5:20am, and I was filled with dread.  He said he felt an ulcer coming on.  Neither of us wanted to say goodbye in an hour! 

He read Psalm 90 and 91, both of which have taken on special meaning for us lately.  Then we prayed together.  I knew I had to go first, because if he did I would be crying too hard to talk.  So I prayed, thanking God for our life together so far, for our family, for His great love, and for His promises.  I prayed for strength, for peace, for courage.  I prayed that we would be able to comfort others with the comfort we’ve received, but also that God would send people to comfort us, as we need it too.  Then I prayed for his safety.  That part always makes me cry, because part of me feels it is so selfish, yet I cannot help but beg my heavenly daddy to bring my husband home.  I need him so much. 

Josh picked up after that.  He too thanked God for his abundant blessings on us and our family. He talked about our fears, and prayed for strength and peace.  He prayed that we would daily grow closer to God as we learn to trust Him in dangerous times.  And he prayed he could come home.  He prayed that we would grow old together, and that he may even be able to see our children’s children.  After that we just laid on the bed in each other’s arms.  I got tears on his uniform, and he jokingly scolded me for that.  We lingered there for our last ten minutes, making them stretch as long as we could. 

Finally, it was time to press on.  We made the short drive to the base.  We said our goodbyes there in the dark, behind the car.  We both cried, and kissed, and cried some more.  Josh said, “I just don’t want to let go,” but finally we had to.  He walked away, his huge green duffle bag over his shoulder, and I sat in the car and cried.  I looked up, and next to me was another wife, doing the same thing in her car.  

I did it. I made it through that moment without falling at his feet and begging him not to go.  

Maybe I shouldn't have.  What if he doesn't come back?

Some wandered in desert wastes,
 finding no way to a city to dwell in;
hungry and thirsty, 
their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
   and he delivered them from their distress.
Psalm 107:4-6


5 comments:

  1. You did way better than I did with the goodbye prayer... It was cried into his chest sitting in the car at the bus station with both of our moms in the back seat. I don't really know what I said... God is probably the only one who does. I moved out of our house that day... and all the way back to Indiana with both of our wonderful moms. I only truly lost it when we literally lost our trailer from the back of the van... I was hugging a teddy bear in a mini replica of Luke's uniform and sobbing uncontrollably (after being soaked in the rain) while the turnpike officials and our moms tried to figure out what to do next. ...and of course God provided wonderfully. I don't know what I'd do without the wonderful parents my Heavenly Daddy has given me. Half the time I feel like this deployment is turning me back into a child.

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  2. haha well remember, this was our second time. The first time, Kosovo, when we were dating, was just a mess of sobbing slobber... not something I want to write about. :) (Yet I have to write, so both times I wrote a letter either before or after so I could sob in privacy while I got the words out!)

    If this deployment is turning you back into a child... I say, that's great to hear. Spiritual growth seems to work backwards. Learning dependence on God is a great thing.

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  3. Hi Emily! I had to come read your blog and also thank you for stopping by mine (http://anchorsawayd.blogspot.com). Its truly amazing how God powers through us to be courageous at times like those. He's definitely been our Savior through our deployments and will be during my upcoming training at Basic and AIT :) I'm glad you found me because I can truly connect with this because we've been there. xoxo

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  4. this stirred such deep emotions w/in me...thank you...it's all i can quite say...
    God bless,
    Michy

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  5. Another powerful story. Thank you for sharing.

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