Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mama's on the verge!

Strange things into my head at those moments--- you know, those moments, when the limits have been reached and surpassed and I am simply trying to hold my tongue and keep us all alive until bedtime--- things I am starting to see as red flags, or warning signs.  They fall into different categories:

Escapism
If I were wearing tennis shoes, could I make it to the woods before they noticed I was gone?
Hey look!  It's after 8!

The Wild imaginary Problem Solving
Maybe I should just reset all the clocks so they think it is bedtime.
I wonder if I pretend I am deaf for awhile… then will they learn to work out their problems?
Is it really wrong to use duct tape?

Socially acceptable fit-throwing
It is better to get on the treadmill than to run for the woods.
It is better to Turbo Jam than to throw a real fit in front of the children.

Self-soothing in the Kitchen
Is there any of that cheesy gooey salty stuff left in the fridge?
If I eat ice cream in the garage will they catch me?

Giving up
What will they do if I act like a two year old too?  It might be fun to roll around on the floor and cry for a few minutes… 

Those are just a few of my red flags.  What are yours?  

2 comments:

  1. ROTFL!!! Oh Emily, I was worried for a moment you had a window into my mind! love love love this post. Thanks so much for the belly laugh! I was going to comment on one or several of them but every single one is something I've thought! :D

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  2. This is me. Right now. All my red flags are up. All my limits have been reached. I can tell when I am counting down the minutes until my husband gets home and dreaming about whether or not I can sneak out of the house after bedtime.

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