Thursday, June 9, 2011

Depressed ears

Not in the pit yourself, but you think you know someone who might be? 
Alright then, pray for that person.  Pray and be kind. 
But be very, VERY cautious about bringing it up. 

The scientific community has not confirmed my hypothesis, but I will share it with you anyway.
Depression distorts a person’s hearing.

Here are a few examples:

Concerned husband says: Were the kids bad for you today?  
Do you want me to watch them for a little while?
Person in the pit hears: You’re doing it ALL wrong!  You’d better let me take over.  Just go away.

Concerned friend says: Hey, you seem kind of depressed lately… is anything wrong?
Person in the pit hears: Hey, you have a huge ugly wart on your nose, have you noticed?

Concerned friend offers advice: When I am overwhelmed, I usually feel better if I exercise/take a bath/read the Bible/ go for a walk/ watch a funny movie/ etc.
Person in the pit hears: Idiont, don't you know how to take care of yourself?

Concerned friend says: You seem a little down lately. Would you like to talk?
Person in the pit hears: You have a terrible BO problem.  Can I buy you some deodorant?

Hey.  You stink.
You may have correctly discerned the trouble with your friend.  It may indeed be depression.   Be warned: Words that are spoken down into the pit seem to be run through an evil, cynical, hyper-sensitive translator before they reach the person’s heart. 

An inquiry that is anything at all like a prod or a criticism, or that does not first communicate loads of compassion and grace is going to be poorly received.  In fact, the most perfect, loving, sensitive inquiry might be poorly received too.

So pray, and be kind.  And yes, inquire if you must, but first fill your words with the comfort of butter and the safety of mashed potatoes. 

And please don’t be offended if your friend is simply not hungry right now.

1 comment:

  1. I like this post Emily. It's so true too! Depression distorts reality and we cannot see things the way they really are.

    I can relate to all of this! OM Goodness gracious sakes alive!

    It's like clawing open an oozing sore. You can't unpick a scab but you can let someone you love put a bandaid on it.



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