Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The age of wonder

what next, brother?
Ah, age two, and age three.  The age of questions:
Exciting questions.  Messy questions.  Stupid questions.

I wonder what would happen if I dumped this?
I wonder what would happen if I threw that?
I wonder what would happen if I squeezed a tomato?
I wonder what would happen if I dumped THAT?
(Mom sighs.)

 I wonder what would happen if I hit the baby over the head with a pot?
I wonder what would happen if I colored on the counter? The table? A library book? 
I wonder what would happen if I turned off the TV during his favorite show?
I wonder what would happen if I hit my brother in the head with a train?
I wonder what would happen if I lassoed the baby?
(Ruckus ensues! Siblings react!  Mom gives a long lecture... sometimes worse.)


I wonder what would happen if I refused to come to dinner?
I wonder what would happen if I refused to eat?
I wonder what would happen if I refused to swallow?
I wonder what would happen if I refused to sit?
I wonder what would happen if I held a grape in my mouth for an hour?
(Mom decides whether to pick the battle.  If she picks it, I lose.)


I wonder what would happen if I pinched mama?
I wonder what would happen if I rode on the baby's back?
I wonder what would happen if I pretend I'm deaf?
(Mom wonders if I am aggressive, curious, or just unteachable.)

I wonder what would happen if I threw my plate?
I wonder what would happen if I throw my eggs at my fancy sister?
I wonder what would happen if I chew my eggs and then spit them on the floor?
(Mom will withhold food.)




I wonder what would happen if I tried to bite through the pack of hotdogs?
I wonder what will happen if I whine?
I wonder what will happen if we wrestle in a grocery cart?
I wonder what will happen if I grab something off the shelf?
I wonder what will happen if I grab a passer-by?
(Mom sighs, moves faster. Threatens our visit to "Chicken Nuggets.")


I wonder why mom goes to bed at 8?

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