Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Impossible Mother Job: Being the FAIR Queen

They want things to be fair, and I understand that.

But it is so hard for me to keep track of who did what last, and whose turn it is for this or that.

It would be nice if I had one of these:
(photo credit)

Except, it would have to be more complicated.

Something like this:
Photobucket


(Yes, I do have six children. But the chart was overwhelming enough with three.)

But I don't have a big complicated chart of switchboard.
And my brain is not capable of this kind of record-keeping.

Until someone invents something like that, I guess I'll have to keep with my current strategy.



Photobucket

Parents, have you found something for this problem?
Is there a middle road,
somewhere in between the huge, complicated Fairness Tracker
and random arbitrary rulings?

I'd love to hear from you!


14 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, this is so true! Don't you wish sometimes they would peacefully and joyfully say, "Oh, no, mother. I had a turn already. Please, let my brother/sister enjoy it this time." Not gonna happen anytime soon I'm afraid...

    When the fighting or arguing gets beyond my level of toleration, I revoke the "turn" priveledge and do it myself. They look a bit shocked, a bit irritated, but is shuts them up real quick! And hopefully they learn that arguing about it won't get them anywhere.

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    1. Jenny, you do it yourself?
      You mean, do the thing they are fighting over?

      "That's it, it's mommy's turn to go down the slide!"
      "If you're gonna fight over who gets to ride the dog, then I'M gonna do it!!!"

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    2. Ahem. Maybe I should amend my earlier comment...

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    3. I knew what you meant :) I just had to share my crazy thinking with you!

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  2. Coffee level! haha love this!!! :)

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  3. Very creative chart. Caffeine level, weather, how long til nap time...amen to important variables. I think I'll pass on going down the slide or riding the dog, though.

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  4. My kids are now 14 and 15 (and still tend to bicker, but not nearly as badly as when they were younger!). I actually came up with a system that worked for us. I made a list of privileges and responsibilities that were most often fought over and printed it out to hang on the fridge. Then, my kids each got assigned alternating weeks to "own" the list. In other words, if it was my son's week, he was the only one who could take a shower first, say the blessing, get first choice of cookies, feed the dog, etc. EVERYTHING ELSE that came up that week that was worth bickering over automatically went to my daughter during that week. The following week, they switched. I kept track by putting their initials on the Sundays on the calendar for each month. Not sure how this would work with six kids. :)

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  5. That is a very good idea! Another friend of mine has said something similar... still thinking on how in the world this would work for six kids though! :) One day a week? Sounds complicated... but everything is complicated in this house! :)

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  6. One of those would be SUPER nice! I would never have to be responsible for making a decision again. Ha!

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  7. As much as possible, I make them work it out. Otherwise, they get the arbitrary mother who often declares, "No, actually, it belongs to neither one of you. It's mine. Give."

    Not that this works any better than any other method, mind.

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    Replies
    1. I try not to do the arbitrary decision making, but sometimes you just have to do it to stop the fighting. Lately, with my small boys who insist on scrapping all the time, I have been sending them BOTH to their bedroom, together, to "work it out." it's amazing how the "injuries" stop when they work it out away from me.

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  8. I think this is a pretty accurate assessment of all the factors that go into how reasonable Mommy can be at any given time ;)

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  9. LOL, yes I have played into this horrible job description before. These are some ideas that have helped me. I reserve the right to say what goes, regardless of who did it last. I make sure that I give jobs to each of the children throughout the day, and they are often looked at as special priveledges. Whiners and fighters and tattlers get punished for not working or else given more work to do and if the complaints are important enough they may also get looked into. They often work out their own systems of playing between themselves, and play nicely. Toys that are fought over are taken away. When I hear argueing, they have to hold hands and talk softly on the couch until I decide they have worked it out and are allowed to get up. I want my kids to realize that when someone is not in danger it is often better to take wrong than to go to court. In real life both parties are punished for not getting along

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    Replies
    1. Sounds like good principles to live by!

      It's so exhausting, isn't it!? :)

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