Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Connecting doesn't have to be complicated. (Growing up with my 'tween)

I see these two little girls, my babies grown beautiful. They look at me with eyes full of questions and hope.
I feel the temptation to pull away.
I had thought that children would require less of me as they grew. I has assumed that once they could dress and feed themselves, they would need less me of me. I am tired, and I do wish I could rest now. I wish I could just sit back and enjoy the show, and watch my little darlings spread their little wings. Isn’t it enough to feed and schedule and carpool them? Besides, I don’t know all the answers, and even if I did, do they need my lectures? Would they even hear them?

I look at my little girls, and I see beauty in bloom, and I fear.
I have seen how this world treats beauty.
I remember.
I remember how easy it is to make bad decisions that can completely change a life (or destroy it.) I remember boys and dating and giddy brain fog. I remember wanting to be loved, wanting to feel beautiful, and yet feeling so awkward and self-conscious.
I remember how hard it was to be a teenager.

Staying connected: It doesn't have to be complicated
Studies show the importance of parents connecting with their children (like this one here.) The studies are good, and the stats are interesting, but those are not the things that really motivate me. It is love and fear for these two young women, my babies grown beautiful.

This week, we had a spontaneous tea party when the boys were napping. We grabbed what we had (Ritz crackers and Pez) and we tip-toed out the door.  We sat by the pond on an old sheet, and we spent twenty minutes, just being together.  We didn't have a "big talk" about anything, but what we did was important. We connected.

Our lives are so busy. Connecting with their hearts is not easy.  I don't have time for this. I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing here, but I resolve to try.

Grow me up with them, Father.  Grow us up together.



Do you feel the temptation to pull away as the stakes get higher and life gets busier?
Did you connect with your 'tween this week, even just for a few minutes? 
Tell us about it in the comments!


See also: Growing up with my 'tween: Why I don't want to talk about it.



1 comment:

  1. i think at least you are aware that it is important to have open communication, that's a great first step:) i wish i could go back and be more open, it's hard when you are "in it"

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