Friday, August 31, 2012

Secret Keeper Girl: A resource to help you connect with your 'tween

When God created this little girl, he bestowed upon me the sweet name of "mother," for the very first time.  I was the very center of her world, and she of mine.

Times have changed.
She's playing volleyball this year. She knows how to play the piano, read a chapter book, and soothe a baby.

She was my little shadow; my laundry helper; my kitchen buddy. 
Now, she does her own laundry, and she knows her way around the kitchen.
She doesn’t follow me around whining, holding my leg, begging for attention.
But that doesn't mean she doesn't want it.

She has world of her own now, a world of friends and books and school, and it's an exciting world.  She's not likely to beg me to enter this world, but (for now,) I am most welcome when I come.

I want to come.
I want to be part of this young lady's world.
I want to stay connected to her.
I want to earn her trust, her ear, her heart.

I need help
But in my life, I need help. As fun as it is to sneak out of the house for a spontaneous tea party, I know this kind of thing won'g happen as often as it should. I'm busy, and I'm tired, and there are so many needy people in this house.

So, we're trying this:
(click the above link to read more about this resource, or go to the website here.)

We are going to make time for eight dates this fall.  My theory: If I have a book and she has a book and we have committed to doing this, maybe we actually will. She might not hang on my leg and scream to remind me, but she will remind me that I owe her one-on-one time, and I need reminding.

(Please note: I recommend this resource mostly as an fun excuse to spend time with your daughter. I found the underlying theological ideas needed some tweaking, so please read with discretion.)

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for my 'tween daughter, for the way she is learning and blooming and growing. Continue to provide for her, too, giving her all that she needs to grow up in Your love. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of Your care for her. 

Grow us up in You, together.
In Jesus' name, and by His grace,
Read the series here

Do you think it is important to spend one-on-one time with your tween?
Have you found a way to make this work in your family?


  1. Thanks for sharing this! I'm always looking for ways to try to connect and get some special time with my 10 going on 16 year old daughter. Six months or so ago I started a Mom & Me journal with her. We write each other little notes in it about our day or anything we want to talk about and then put it under the others pillow. We don't write in it every day, just when we feel we want to. She really enjoys it and so do I. :)


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