There has long been an ache in me for those in impoverished countries, but I have done my best to fight it.
Those thoughts seem like they could lead to scary places, and I just feel more comfortable keeping that box shut.
I mean, if I open it, God might make me do something about it.
He might ask me to give something.
He might make me uncomfortable with what I have.
He might ask me to given even more.
He might ask me to give too much.
He might ask for everything.
And everyone knows, I already have enough to do, and the things I have to do right now, I don’t even do them that well—God knows I require a heaping mound of grace each day, each week, to soothe myself after I have failed to love those around me, again. I am spread thin already, just loving and serving the people in my own home, and doing church stuff, and managing our abundance.
I can’t handle another thing.
Besides, I can’t fix it. I can’t really do anything substantial to ease the suffering of people thousands of miles away.
|photo from childrenwithnoone.org|
So what’s the point of looking beyond my home, or beyond my country, and aching for the things that go on there? Can’t I just hide from the headlines, from the mission work, and keep on gasping my way through the work in front of me, just doing what I do in my tiny corner of the world?
But, God said no. I am not allowed to hide, he said.
I must pray.
That led to thinking. And reading. And learning.
And I feel my heart getting achingly bigger.
Do you feel this ache?
What do you do with it?
Tend to Me: Devotions for Mothers
by Emily Cook