Friday, February 22, 2013

Healthy Beauty, for little girls

Welcome to today's guest blogger, Gina Gallutia!
She is contributing today as part of the series on Growing up with my 'tween.

Today's topic: Modesty

Modesty is relative.
Now before you stop reading because you think I’m a crazy, liberal hippy, give me a sentence or two more.

In Jane Austen’s day, low, low, low cut dresses were the norm, totally modest. Today, not so much. There was a time when guys would get excited to see the flash of an ankle from underneath layers of petticoat and skirt. Today, not so much. And well, there’s those ladies in Africa who, well, it’s hot there. So yes, modesty is culturally relative. What’s not is an immodest or modest mindset.

There were probably girls who took the ankle-flashing too far. And there were Elizabeth Bennetts who had no intention other than looking nice when they wore dresses that seem to us as though a “wardrobe malfunction” could happen at any moment. Which brings us to the question of the day:

What is your intention when you get dressed? What’s your mindset?

We are the primary models of healthy or unhealthy modesty to our children. Remember back to your childhood and the influence of how your mother looked or how she spoke to you about modesty had on your clothing choices. Many of us dress in response to a notion we picked up as children or beyond. And many of those weren’t healthy ones. Sadly, I’ve known great deal of women who dress “modestly” (aka dowdily) because of a moment or more of molestation in their past, and women who flaunt every inch of their bodies for the same reason. So before we can impart a healthy idea of dress to our young ones, we need to examine our reasons and possibly come to healthier conclusions.

 And as we contemplate deeply the idea of dress, one thought should remain at the forefront:
God made our bodies and He made us in His image.

Beauty and Beauty

 He is Beauty, which means that we are beautiful and should reflect that to the world.

We should reflect Him. Especially as women, we are called to bring beauty, to bring life, to our particular area of influence through our thoughts, expressions, actions, and adornments.

Once we have this clear, then we can prayerfully pass on a healthy concept of modesty to our dearest of dear daughters. But as you do, remember, that God made her her and you you. So she may not dress in kindred ways, but as long as she is glorifying Him and dressing for the right reasons, then you are blessed indeed.

Comments from Emily:
Gina, girl, you make me think, and I'm not sure I like it! 
What's my intention when I get dressed? What's my mindset?  It is usually something like this:

What is nearby that I can throw on so I can get to the coffee pot faster?

Beauty seems like an indulgence that busy mothers just can't afford!  But wait, let me be a little more honest and say it this way: beauty is simply not something I care to think about these days, and I have a wonderful house full of good excuses to make that seem ok.

And I think this mindset of mine has consequences.
This topic is worth exploring more fully.

Expect some follow up Q and A between Gina and Queen Frumpy (me.) 

What questions or comments do you have  on the topic of modesty and beauty?


  1. This is a good question. And our daughters are trained by what we do. Definitely something to keep in mind and be intentional about. Thanks! <3

  2. Yes, an important topic here and an issue I'm already facing with my 4 year old daughter who I've discovered is VERY impressionable. She is already comparing what she wears with other little girls in her preschool class and very picky about what she puts on. External beauty is extremely important to her at such a young age.

    I want her to feel beautiful (I know as ladies we all want to feel beautiful) or really just not care what others think about her external appearance because I know too well the damage that concern did to me growing up. I want her to be more concerned about her internal beauty but where is the balance? How do we teach this? And yes, question of questions what am I already teaching her about all this!!?

    Thanks for raising this issue. I look forward to more discussion.

    1. Oh and NOT just her, all my daughters, two more coming up right behind her. Also our sons. What can I teach them about the beauty of a woman?

    2. Aubri, I have more questions than answers at this point! :)

      God help us!

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


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