Are you enjoying your "vacation?"
Or are you starting to dread walking into the same room as your kids?
When you hear them, when you hear your vocation callling (with screams and fights and spills,) are you starting to feel likea cat being shoved into a bath?
My favorite lately has been the fighting.
It's just my... favorite.
It's inspiring all kinds of creativity in this frazzled mama brain of mine.
Here are some things I've considered doing to help them grow in the fine arts of social interaction.
(Perhaps these thoughts are red flags?)
- Drop them off in the woods somewhere and make them find their way home.
- Try leashes, and maybe duct tape.
- Lock them in a small closet together and see who comes out alive.
- Separate them for the rest of their lives.
- Separate myself from them for the rest of MY life.
- Quit. Just quit being mom and make them fend for themselves. (Remove all junk food from the house first. Eat it. Laugh.)
- Bring it on: throw three pieces of gum in the middle of the six kids. Stand back. Take pictures.
- Make them run laps... around the entire city.
- Make children who act like animals stay outside. Require manners and decorum in the house, Downton Abbey style, including fancy clothes.
- Dress them in the get-along shirt, first thing in the morning.
(I've really only used this once. I set a five minute "love timer." It ended in laughter, so that was good.)