Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I will never feel caught up (chaos and contentment part 1)

That’s it.
It’s settled.
I will never, ever be caught up.


Never, until I’m dead.
So I might as well just quit.


I huff, plop down in the recliner, and open a novel.  I am a mama in rebellion.


But I know I won’t quit forever, and I know that my momentary “quitting” will simply create more work for me later.


Why is it so hard to find balance?


I know how to drop the list from time to time, to seize a moment, to notice and give thanks.
And I know how to barrel through and get stuff done.


But-- perhaps this is the next level of the game--- I do NOT know how to get stuff done when it is only SOME of the stuff, and when they help me do the stuff, or when they talk constantly while we are all supposed to be doing stuff.   


How does one balance listening and loving and efficiency?


I am not afraid of work.  

But sometimes I am afraid of who I become when I work. I’m not sure how to try to get stuff done without turning into the lunatic who wants everything done right this second.


A hard working worker pushing hard after task completion is a dangerous person.


It’s not that I need an immaculate house. I just want to feel caught up.  
And so often I feel like all things and all little people in the world are conspiring against me!


I want to “feel caught up.”
What does that even mean?


What would it take for you to “feel caught up?”
What is this elusive goal we chase after so hard?

Please share your thoughts.
More posts on tihs topic coming soon.

5 comments:

  1. I feel the same way! And I envy my husband's ability to put his work down and come home to free time at the end of the day.

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  2. Yes to all of it. I have no answers though. Grab a cup of coffee and maybe a cookie, put your feet up and take solace in the fact that, "You are NOT alone." :)

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  3. Oh goodness, I never feel caught up. And I don't even think I know what that looks like anymore. My three boys have started school today so that means I should be able to get "caught up" right? No one home to distract or undo or add to the chaos. But, the list changes when they go to school. I have new goals and things to accomplish...and new jobs to try and get caught up on.

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  4. I just snapped at my daughter on the way to school because she forgot her homework and we had to go back. Ugh...I apologized, but now there's the guilt. All the while I'm telling her she needs to get her stuff together beforehand, I'm ignoring all the things I've been leaving undone because I just can't get caught up. I can relate to your feelings, but don't have any answers. Perhaps you'll reveal the answer in Part 2? :)

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  5. I feel extremely "not caught up" right now! I don't know if I am ever totally caught up, but when my house looks uncluttered I'm more content. Currently there are SEVERAL jars of jam/jelly in my dining room, Friends legos on my front coffee table, and some in the back family room, my family room also today was my daughters "house". She pulled 3 dining room chairs and I think every toy she had in her room in there including an umbrella for "shade". I just went with it today, I will clean tomorrow. I'm resting now.... I look forward to Part 2 of your series! :) Good luck.

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